Facebooked
I joined Facebook after much resistance. I had been Orkutised before that and I was miserable. I hated the scrapbook, the fact that anyone could follow your conversations with your friends, and that it was fucking addictive. I spent weeks browsing profiles to see what all my old acquaintances were up to.
Then came Facebook with the promise of privacy. I'll give it that much, it is relatively more private. But a few weeks after I had joined, I began to feel harassed again. Old schoolmates, acquaintances, and acquaintances of acquaintances sent out friend requests. "Apoorva, this is xyz, your best friend's roommater from 6 years ago, we met once, remember?". Um, yeah, sort of, vaguely, but not really.
My first instinct was to add them all and then I paused, do I really want to TALK to all these people? And even if I did, here's the catch. Once you accept the friend request, most people don't even turn around to say hello. You're just a plus one to the number of friends in their network giving them satisfaction that they've captured you. So what IS the point?
I decided that this forum is going to be for my FRIENDS only. So far I've been ignoring friend requests from people who don't really fit in that category. I promise I'm not saying this with any arrogant intent. It doesn't matter if they are nice or interesting. It's just that I don't really want to start new relationships with people I haven't connected with in a long time or, er, ever before. Managing a 100-odd network of people is a lot of work....all the poking, slaying, scrabbling, and viewing updates on what EVERYONE in your network is up to can be a day job altogether.
The irony of it all is that 2 years from now, I'll find myself at a high school reunion, blacklisted and ignored. I'll be the victim of the "you didn't add me on facebook" crime.
Then came Facebook with the promise of privacy. I'll give it that much, it is relatively more private. But a few weeks after I had joined, I began to feel harassed again. Old schoolmates, acquaintances, and acquaintances of acquaintances sent out friend requests. "Apoorva, this is xyz, your best friend's roommater from 6 years ago, we met once, remember?". Um, yeah, sort of, vaguely, but not really.
My first instinct was to add them all and then I paused, do I really want to TALK to all these people? And even if I did, here's the catch. Once you accept the friend request, most people don't even turn around to say hello. You're just a plus one to the number of friends in their network giving them satisfaction that they've captured you. So what IS the point?
I decided that this forum is going to be for my FRIENDS only. So far I've been ignoring friend requests from people who don't really fit in that category. I promise I'm not saying this with any arrogant intent. It doesn't matter if they are nice or interesting. It's just that I don't really want to start new relationships with people I haven't connected with in a long time or, er, ever before. Managing a 100-odd network of people is a lot of work....all the poking, slaying, scrabbling, and viewing updates on what EVERYONE in your network is up to can be a day job altogether.
The irony of it all is that 2 years from now, I'll find myself at a high school reunion, blacklisted and ignored. I'll be the victim of the "you didn't add me on facebook" crime.
2 Comments:
I'm with you on this all the way. I have ignored so many 'friend' requests on facebook.
Worse, I have removed people from my friends' list.
It felt bad first... but later felt like spring cleaning.
after i read you comment, i thought, "let me go delete some people i should have never added". you're right, it's like spring cleaning!
i'm glad i'm not alone here. we can all be convicted together...
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