Last night, we attended the reception of a family friend's daughter at a hotel in town. We walked in all dressed up in glitter, climbed the stage, ramped past the row of relatives, almost missed the bride and groom, gave them the little token envelope, and climbed down. We walked to the dinner buffet where we ran into other "attendees" like us, trying a spoon from each of the 12 types of cuisines laid out in front of us. The entire process, door to door, took exactly 55 minutes, luckily because the hotel is a stone's throw away from home. What a waste of time though.
An ex-classmate invited me to her wedding. I haven't connected with her in years and all of a sudden I get this email with a line that goes "please consider this my personal invitation". For someone who I haven't seen or talked to in 6 years, this "personal" invite was a bit to casual for me to even consider it remotely genuine. So why bother?
Weddings should be closed affairs. Invite people that you actually want to be around and not those you are indifferent towards. Large weddings, in my opinion, are like large charity events where you feed, not the poor and needy, but members of your society who's egos will prick if they are left out. I'd rather eat at home.
I'm really happy for those who are getting married. And I wish them the best. But I and at least half the people in that garden will willingly send their best wishes long-distance. I have no egotistical issues if you don't invite me, in fact I'll be grateful if you spare me the obligation of attendance. In a time when everyone's insisting on having 4 events for each wedding PLUS it being the wedding season, running around the city to show your face at each event makes no sense to me at all.
posted by apoorvi at
3:04 PM
4 Comments:
Ever since I was a kid, I hated to attend weddings. The things I really hated:
a) calling every one in town to establish one's social standing
b) outdoing the previous wedding - spread of food, and most importantly - in Kerala - the fucking gold on the female's body. The sight of gold used to drive me to nuts.
c) A few snide remarks here-n-there... people actually attending to size up the event - and bitch.
d) Speculators - this marriage is doomed.
e) Parents showcasing their eligible progeny to prospective in-laws.
f) That one bitch who wants to get laid - and seems to be everywhere
g) The lights. There are a few 'videographers' running around focusing their bazookas at hapless women stuffing fistfuls of sambar rice into their mouths!!
h) The bride and groom - they are so overcome by the occasion that they have no fucking clue. She is made up like a bat out of hell... and the pores in her face are filled with so much tar that she can't sweat. Like a bloody river that don't know where its going... her sweat finds just 2 spots - those unberable patches at the armpits of her blingy blouse. All he is thinking of is whether he can consummate his wedding on that night - if only he knew - NO FUCKING WAY.
I used to tell my folks that my wedding will be a small one - with a maximum of 6 people. I almost made it.
Renu and I got married - far away from all this nonsense in a Botanic Garden - with 15 people in attendance. No one was doing us a favour - they were just privileged to be 1 among 15.
Not like a mail I received yesterday (similar to yours)... a personal invite that was sent to 235 people.
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Nice, list. You've covered almost everything I wanted to bitch about and I was even amused/surprised at d, f, and g. My other big issue is that as a visitor to a wedding, what one wears also seems to be a point of discussion. All the aunties are wearing gaudy saris, after you've seen 5, they all look the same. And somehow no matter what I wear, it's not "heavy enough" -- what is this, a what's-your-weight competition?
There will always be this odd besharam aunty who'll come up to me and say, "beti, it's a wedding, you should have at least worn something on your hands. What will people say about your mother?"
My brother's wedding was our (his and mine) nightmare. I admire him for getting through it all. After the Barat, I just wanted to wish them luck, go home and put my feet up.
My poor parents were so tired that while my bro was taking his pheras, they were both asleep on chairs at the back of the room, someone had even covered my mom with a blanket.
So much for weddings are loads of fun...I could go on....
Gosh, as i read this post - i went back to the days that preceded my wedding and how i was fighting to keep the list privtae - it worked...this post has brought a smile to my tired face - i should sleep now :)
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