Anything we focus on expands

The simplest example of this is within our own bodies.




















If you just sit back and start listening to your breath, you'll notice that it automatically becomes slightly longer (expands). This is because the minute we focus on it, we begin to affect it. Subconsiously we know that it should be slow and long (as oppsed to quick bursts). I see this in yoga class all the time. Someone challenged in an asana has ragged breathing and the minute they shift their awareness to it, the breath stablises, the body stabilises in the pose, and the facial expressions relax.

This example can be carried into all aspects of our lives. If we worry, then it will only grow. If we fear, it will begin to rule our lives. If we practice patience, it will permeate into everything we do. If we love ourselves, this love will have no other choice but to grow into love for other people around us.

In yoga, this concept is taught in the Yoga Sutras, verses which encompass all messages needed to live life the Yoga way. As I began to notice my thought patterns over the last week, I realised how much of my life is affected by fear and the negativity that it creates.I didn't even realise until recenlty how a small moment of anxiety over career, relationships, and desires can consume me easily. I've spent years trying to change certain un-desired patterns, or to think positively with real inner conviction with lots of resistance and little success.

But a simple practice of sitting down to listen to my breath and focus on creating positive energy in my life for just 5 minutes has served as the tipping point that has driven the message home. I do it everyday and it feels real good.

FATTY

This morning as I was teaching and one of my students told me that the Gym next door had a weighing scales that measured % of body fat. Now Shantan and I had talked about this while he was telling me that he got on this scale every day (he's trying to lose some weight) and checked how many grams of fat he had shed in the last 24 hours. I looked at him in horror and wondered what that did to the psyche of a person who had the tendency to get obsessive. I gave him stories from Aerobics days when I saw women get obsessed with the scale and turn towards Anorexia.

So this morning I thought I should check this scale out. But I wondered if I really want to know about this stuff. Why not, what harm can one time do? I got on it and went through the process. At the end of it, the machine spit out a little receipt with my vitals -- height, weight, % of body fat.

27%.
WTF.
How can it be?
Really?

Everyone has had the same reaction. Yes, I've been doing my own little survey. The acceptable range for a normal person is 21%-33%, so I'm right in the middle. So I'm balanced. It shouldn't really matter. Fuck the scale. Ok, ok, phew.

But now all I see is FAT. My legs, my arms, my er, belly....yikes. FAT FAT FAT.

Pre-New-Year-Resolutions

1. I will spend less time on the computer surfing the internet and chatting with friends to reduce the chitter-chatter in my head.
2. I will keep my room uncluttered and thus try to keep my mind uncluttered on a daily basis.
3. I will practice patience with myself and people in my life so that I can be gentle rather than reacting under pressure.
4. I will meditate for 10 minutes every day regardless of how busy or lazy I am.
5. I will work towards being less afraid of the future. I have no way of predicting anything.

Have I reached Nirvana yet?

Utterly Butterly Delicious!

I saw a link on Google News to Amul's latest ad and it triggered a memory.

When we were in school, we would drive past an Amul hoarding everyday. The hoarding was at one of the then busiest intersections of the city. Everyone crossing from Secunderbad to Banjara Hills area stopped here and at least everyone we knew looked forward to passing by so that they could see Amul's latest ad. Usually quirky, quippy, and funny, their hoarding was a point of discussion in the first 5 minutes of office-hours and kitty parties alike.

After I saw the Aaja Munchle Ad, I realised that Amul must have [hopefully] archived all their old designs on a website. and I did find the fantastic archive on their website.

I clicked into the late-80s to see if I would recognize any and I did (albeit only a few). I even remember bits and pieces of conversation with Dad as he drove us each morning. As an "ignorant" child who refused to read the news, I'd ask him about a million questions when I didn't understand the catchphrase and he'd give me an update on what's been happening in the world.

Unfortunately, when the Municipal Corp. cleaned up the city and brought down all the hoardings on the streets, it's people lost one of their daily routines. Amul had a daily presence in our lives and till this day everyone at home prefers it over other butters. That's a brand well-built, I would say.

Last night, we attended the reception of a family friend's daughter at a hotel in town. We walked in all dressed up in glitter, climbed the stage, ramped past the row of relatives, almost missed the bride and groom, gave them the little token envelope, and climbed down. We walked to the dinner buffet where we ran into other "attendees" like us, trying a spoon from each of the 12 types of cuisines laid out in front of us. The entire process, door to door, took exactly 55 minutes, luckily because the hotel is a stone's throw away from home. What a waste of time though.

An ex-classmate invited me to her wedding. I haven't connected with her in years and all of a sudden I get this email with a line that goes "please consider this my personal invitation". For someone who I haven't seen or talked to in 6 years, this "personal" invite was a bit to casual for me to even consider it remotely genuine. So why bother?

Weddings should be closed affairs. Invite people that you actually want to be around and not those you are indifferent towards. Large weddings, in my opinion, are like large charity events where you feed, not the poor and needy, but members of your society who's egos will prick if they are left out. I'd rather eat at home.

I'm really happy for those who are getting married. And I wish them the best. But I and at least half the people in that garden will willingly send their best wishes long-distance. I have no egotistical issues if you don't invite me, in fact I'll be grateful if you spare me the obligation of attendance. In a time when everyone's insisting on having 4 events for each wedding PLUS it being the wedding season, running around the city to show your face at each event makes no sense to me at all.

Post Script

It's about 24 hours after I posted the 5-minute rant.

I walked over to Saptaparni, one of my favorite locations in Hyd and also the place that first trusted me enough to begin teaching. I was there to sign up for a [hopefully] phenomenal workshop coming up next week.

Last evening, I began teaching at Est, a popular gym started by the cricketer Azharuddin. We're running trial classes for a week to see if this could click. I never thought I'd teach at a gym, it's really not the ideal environment. But last evening, during the 3 classes that we ran through, about 20 gym junkies (men and women) gave it a try. I've NEVER had this much fun in a yoga class.

I watched them stroll into class with a wee bit of condescension written all over their face. "Yoga, ha. Too slow. What can it do for me. Fine, I'll try it. Let's see what she has to offer." One character walks up to me and says, "Look, I know your yoga is for mental peace and all that, but let me tell you, mentally, I'm solid, I'm SO fine. If you can help me physically, then, ya, I'll try it."

Hmm, how do we go about this?

Switching gears, I immediately shifted into bossy-bitch-mode and kicked off with 10 sun salutations and 40 minutes of non-stop movement. I walked around, stamped my foot, yelled across the room (hey, if BKS Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois can do it, why can't I?) and tried really hard to keep them from constantly looking at themselves in the mirror. At the end of the class, when I opened the floor for questions, they couldn't stop talking. I drove home with a satisfied glint.

While this is not the way I would like to teach, perhaps it's necessary in order to crack certain stereotypes yoga carries. At the end of the day, while the gym is not an ideal place, the class shouldn't be about external physcial fitness, and yaada yaada yaada, it was a great start and we'll watch where it goes.

So from my 5-minute rant in the morning the day had zipped around to a really good one.

5 minute rant

I was on another blog and read the 5-minute rant she had written. Brilliant. I think I need one right now.

Ready, steady, go.

I woke up this morning to read a message that my 7am class was canceled. I was pissed and sent off a curt OK. Not the "go back to sleep" type, I dragged myself out and made some tea. Mulling over my chai, I reasoned with myself. At least they're informing me. Imagine having to drive out there and then finding out that noone has shown up? Arrgh. The thing is that this class has been behaving rather dodgy. On again, Off again. So it's been a bit of a thorn in my, er, foot.

My mother joins me. Something about how I should work in the family business. Really mom, not now. "I wish my children had more stable jobs. Why don't you look into an MBA from Harvard like your friend?". Really mom, not now.

Took a deep breath (held it for 5) and felt better. I sent off a more polite message.

But you know what? I'm still pissed. It's unfortunately set the tone for my day. I had a shitty practice this morning. I kept losing my balance, falling over. A clear indication of the state that I am in.

My 5 minutes are up, but I'll take another 2 as my sis-in-law chose to interrupt. Something about some bulb somewhere. Really, not important.

My bloody Nokia is acting up. You pay so much for a fancy phone and look what you get. Grumble grumble.

I'm looking forward to teaching some power-packed yoga this evening. Kick some ass. Sweat it out.

Done.

No Zing Thing

I went to see Aaja Nachle last night. I was really looking forward to it. I'm not a Madhuri Dixit fan, as in I won't go see a film because she's known for good quality cinema or anything, but I do enjoy watching her dance. A trained Kathak dancer, she's worked with some of the best. The girl can move (you'll see when you take your eyes off her stuffed bra).

Rajiv Masanad, a CNN-IBN critic did a Top-10-Madhuri-Dances list here. I don't quite have 10 favorites but my most memorable numbers are (in order of preference):

1. Mar Dala (Devdas) -- Beautiful Kathak. I went to youtube to watch this number again, I love it. A lot of the credit also goes to the choreography, set, and presentation. Other actresses have done elaborate mujra numbers, they don't compare at all.

2. Choli ke Peeche (Khalnayak) -- my favorite folk dance number. As a kid, dancing to folk choreographies were my favorite. When I was a kid, I told my Kathak master I wanted to dance to this song, same steps as Madhuri's. Scandalised, he rattled of a speech about "aak ki generation" to my parents....haha.

3. Dola re Dola (Devdas) -- Ignore Aishwarya (though good effort). This choreography was composed by Pt.Birju Maharaj and his team and was a mega project with the number of back up dancers, costumes, and sequences that were weaving in and out of each other. Madhuri was, again, a treat to watch.

4. Ek Do Teen (Tezaab) -- I think I like this number because it's been close to my heart since the age of 10-11. I remember dancing to this song at my cousin's wedding copying Madhuri step to step. For years, it became "my number".

So I took myself to Aaja Nachle thinking the trailer looks uninspiring and the story sounds like a half-hearted effort, but I am just going for the "item number".

I haven't been this bored in a film in a long time. Even Om Shanti Om was more entertaining. But I was forcing myself to stay awake waiting for my item number. The credits started rolling at the end and I couldn't believe it.

Rajiv Masand hits it on spot:
"Sadly, for a film about dance, this one has only one reasonably memorable dance piece, and even that pales in comparison to the actress' superhit item numbers of the past. The 20-minute-plus climatic dance opera at the end is a tad long, and fails to hold your interest....."

Speaking about dancing, however, the highlight of the entire film was Vinay Pathak's 2 minutes on center stage. It was a TREAT to watch him get down, he's surprisingly very good.

Vinay Pathak was also responsible for the cringe moment of the film where he takes off his shirt to seduce his wife and jumps on top of her.

All in all, every minute of the film lacked even a hint of the-Zing-thing quality.

Anil Mehta, the director was probably uninterested or bullied by external factors. The story must have been written in Jaideep Sahni's sleep. The cinematography, costumes, dialogs, all had zero class. So unless you're one of those people who's world is complete when Madhuri is on screen, don't watch it.